What’s In Your Golfing Room 101?
I’m sure every golfer has a list of aggravations they vent fury over on a regular basis. I sense the proverbial can of worms being opened here, but I’m keen to share mine in the hope that you’ll do the same. 
Get on our Facebook page and let off some steam! What is it in the golfing world that truly gets your blood boiling? I’m not talking about ‘three putting’ or Sir Nick Faldo’s attempts at comedy (although they’ll both drive you nuts). No, what is it in the professional or amateur game that you think really should be kicked into touch?
Here are a few of my personal pet hates:
Mashed Potato
I’ve heard some ridiculous heckles in my time, but none top the cry of “mashed potato” during last year’s Ryder Cup. For me, this was as bad as it could get and made me think that something’s got to be done sooner rather than later or the catcalling will just get worse. I’m sure most people agree that golf isn’t football and these pointless shouts for attention are a blight on the professional game. Like most things, what happens first in the US eventually reaches these shores and I think the majority on both sides of the Atlantic would be pleased to see the back of it. It’s a recurrent theme in golf coverage that the commentators will follow a spectator shouting “get in da hole” as a tee shot gets hit on a 600 yard par five with “I wish those idiots would shut up”. So, perhaps it’s about time the officials responded with a slightly more prominent statement of intent. I’d suggest they politely demand that the offending character “get off da premises”.
Yardages Junkies
How many golfers do you see meticulously calculating their yardages down to the nearest inch? And yet how many of them can routinely hit to a consistent yardage? I remember being fortunate enough to hit balls on the range next to Soren Kjeldsen a couple of years ago. After an hour or so you could see distinct white lines of golf balls where he’d been hitting through the set of clubs. His yardages were so precise that they actually created a line on the range. He’s the only player I’ve ever witnessed control yardages that well, yet for some reason there’s an abundance of amateur golfers out there who routinely waste time calculating whether its 142 or 147 yards. Seriously, unless your name is Soren Kjeldsen, you’re wasting mine and everybody else’s time out here. Just hit it.
To Dream the Impossible Dream
We’ve all witnessed it: that person in the group ahead who has hit a career 250yard drive down a par 5 and then stands and waits for the green to clear (10 mins) before “crushing” a fairway wood that comes up 75 yards short. Seriously, if you can’t keep your ego in check then at least do the maths…. 530 yards– 250 yards = 280 not-in-a-million-years yards
Rule 18-2b
For those that don’t know the rules by number (which includes me), this is basically the rule that states “if you address the ball and it moves, you’re penalised”. You know the one, it put paid to Harrington’s chances on the 15th hole at The Masters a couple of years ago, as well as many other individuals in lower profile cases. The rule is in desperate need of modification, as for the time being it only stands to do one of three things: damage golf’s reputation; ruin a major golf tournament and/or ruin a player’s career. A freaky gust of wind is hardly anybody’s fault, and if you can replace the ball no advantage has been gained, or attempted to be gained. To my mind, if it’s evident to all that the ball was caused to move by an outside agent and it wasn’t influenced in any way by the player, then there shouldn’t be any penalty. Most of the golfing world has recognised that the rule is an accident waiting to happen, so surely the R&A/USGA needs to lock the stable door before the horse bolts, so to speak.
Headline Tweets
A recent blot on the landscape this one, although I must say that for the large part Twitter has been great for the fans – it’s still something of a novelty to receive unprecedented access into the thoughts and opinions of the golfers on tour. That said, what really gets on my wick is when the media latch on to the most mundane Tweets and try to make a story out of it. If the likes of Poulter, Westwood or McIlroy (to name a few on Twitter) decide to broadcast a preference, opinion, or (heaven forbid) a photograph, you can now guarantee that a back page article will follow. Granted, in today’s world of 24/7 news it must be tough for journalists but please, please, stop making stories out of nothing!
Bad Pairings
I may be getting it a bit personal here, and this isn’t one for the R&A to consider, but one of my greatest golfing bête noirs is the bad pairing. It’s that moment you realise your wife’s suggestion that you spend the afternoon shopping was, in fact, a good one. For me, there’s nothing worse than looking forward to a competitive game only to feel your heart sink as it dawns on you that you’ve got four hours of this company ahead of you.
Personally, and I don’t mean to offend anyone here, my two least favourite character-types are the beer-towel-tucked-into-the-trouser-belt and the wannabe-Ian Poulter. With one you can look forward to an afternoon of swing advice and analysis of your technical faults (spare me), while the other can stomach nothing worse than a 62 and follows every less-than-perfect shot with a petulant display of anger that has you striding down the fairway to get as far away from them as possible. No disrespect to the real Ian Poulter, I’m sure he’s a pleasure to play golf with, but without his ability to accompany his attitude, this is hardly a recipe for a fun game of golf. Everybody has their own idea of what a nightmare pairing is, but can’t we devise a way of pairing these spoilers together, leaving the rest of us to enjoy an afternoon’s golf in enjoyable company?
The debate is now open on our Facebook page, so tell us what goes into your Golfing Room 101?