Greenkeepers Revenge
With the exception of the odd pre-Christmas Scramble, we’re moving in to a quiet few weeks at most golf clubs. With snow in recent years, there isn’t even the guarantee that the course will be open and the greenkeepers have their work cut out to deal with the worst the season can throw at them.
Despite all this, there are still a number of die hard golfers who insist on playing whatever the weather. Naturally, soggy fairways, muddy fringes, and winter standard greens aren’t conducive to great scoring, so perhaps the traditional stableford and medal formats could be shelved for a week in favour of an entirely different golfing beast. How about a competition that inspires a more social atmosphere and larger participation levels from the membership? I’m talking about the ‘Greenkeeper’s Revenge’. Probably not an event found on the fairways at Augusta, but one that a number of golf clubs in this country have already hosted with great success. For the unversed, perhaps I can shed a little light on the concept.
Greenkeepers have it tough. Crack of dawn starts, lawnmower-homing golf balls, ear bashings from disgruntled members; in many ways, they’re on a complete hiding to nothing. The ‘Greenkeepers Revenge’ gives them the chance to get their own back with carte blanche to set up the golf course as never seen before. Part golf course, part obstacle course, the use of tractors, trailers, fake holes, and dirty pin positions are all permitted, and indeed, actively encouraged. Here’s an opportunity for retribution.
For one day in the year, the greenkeepers do away with the text books. They create a golf course for the members to take on that will test their patience, ability and sense of humour. Revenge is the name of the game, so the goal of the ‘Greenies’ will doubtless be to infuriate the competitors. It might sound like carnage, and in many senses it is, but these guys know what they’re doing and can certainly be trusted not to compromise the golf course. Golfers won’t have seen or played in anything like it, such is the uniqueness of the set-up, and how well you play is much less important than embracing the spirit of the day. Fun and frustration are guaranteed in equal measure.
The best format (for purposes of sanity) is probably Texas Scramble. Without it, you could be playing all day. For example, anyone who drives a golf ball under a tractor wheel is probably going to require a ‘get out of jail free card’, and the Texas Scramble format permits it. The social benefits of the Texas Scramble add to the concept as well, as teams conjure up methods of negotiating a path around the many obstacles and trickery in place.
It’s doubtless one of the most memorable competitions I’ve played in, from the green with no flag to the obstructing trailer across the middle of the fairway; tee boxes in the rough to holes cut on an upslope. Every hole has a talking/stumbling point, and while ordinarily the post competition chat in the bar is routinely filled with boring anecdotes such as ‘you should’ve seen Dave’s drive on 12’ or ‘what about that bounce you got on 15’, the conversations instead centre around a tractor blocking the approach to the par 3, or the pin cut 12 inches from the edge of the 18th green. They’re topics that everyone in the competition can relate to and, unsurprisingly, make for a terrific atmosphere in the bar and, more often than not, a commitment to make the event an annual feature of the golfing calendar.
Admittedly, this isn’t for everyone and may challenge the temperament of the purist, but as a complete one-off event, it is, for many, a welcome alternative to a winter stableford or medal. I love the traditional formats of golf, but I don’t think every competition has to influence handicap or stick to the rules. To me, it’s just as important to put on events that encourage every member to play and create a lively clubhouse environment where golfers want to stay longer and talk about the day. It wouldn’t hurt the bar takings either.
Perhaps most importantly of all, the green keepers love it. If just for one day, it’s a chance for the members to show their collective appreciation for all the hard work that goes in to preparing the course, rain or shine, all year round.