The Unwelcome Hole-In-One
Playing golf last week, our group arrived at ‘9A’, a short par three of about 120 yards which was acting as a temporary stand-in for another hole that’s undergoing renovations. One of the tee shots looked ominously good in the air…..
As is almost always the case, despite threatening the flag for most of its journey the ball ended up nestled within gimme range. Close, but no cigar.
Then came the consolatory comment, “Well, you wouldn’t want a hole-in-one here though, would you?” This got us discussing the virtues of golf’s Holy Grail.
Of course, the obvious and justifiable answer is “Yes, I’d take anything I can get!” But go with me here….
None of us needs telling that a hole-in-one is a rarity. Just achieving one in a lifetime of playing golf puts you amongst the lucky few. Bag one, however, and it’s likely to be the pinnacle of your golfing career – the story you dine out on for days, weeks, even years to come (just pity those having to hear it, again!). There are those endless opportunities to embellish the tale, the shot improving with every telling, especially if the truth was a little less glorious. I know I’d rather be telling of a towering iron into a stiff breeze on the 4th at Turnberry, than a shanked pitching-wedge that ricocheted off the clubhouse terrace, clattered into the pin and dropped straight down into the cup on a hole.
And that’s where a hole that doesn’t technically exist on the scorecard i.e. 9A features. Does that diminish the achievement or invalidate it in some way? In fairness, this was the point being made. If you’ve only got one hole-in-one to reflect on in your dotage, then you probably wouldn’t want it to be this one.
All this got me thinking of the occasions likely to take the gloss off your moment in the sun….
Proper Hole
I doubt many people would fairly claim an ace at a pitch ’n’ putt course, and along the same lines I would have to question the satisfaction of a hole in one on temporary greens with those oversized ‘bucket’ holes. The hole would be playing shorter too, and the ball no doubt bobbling around in all directions on the approach – but I still think most people would venture to claim it. And why not?!
Has it gone in?
A massive part of the elation enjoyed with a hole-in-one is that moment when you sense it might be on the cards and then that world-stands-still moment when you and your playing partners see the distant white spec disappear into the cup. Cue the celebrations, high fives, and a rush of adrenaline – it’s a moment you’ll treasure forever. So it’s all a little deflating when playing to a raised green or a pin hidden from view behind a bunker, when the moment passes without you realising it’s even happened. OK, you might walk a little quicker to the green in anticipation (a nice feeling in itself, I’ll grant you) but not seeing it go in certainly takes the shine off it. And how did it end up in the hole anyway? When the hole is checked as a last resort, you know there must have been a little more luck than normal involved! Either way, it’s not the Hollywood script we’re all secretly hoping for.
Awful Shot
For every glorious match-clinching ace, there’s a thinned mishit that clattered into the trees over the back of the green, popped up in the air and miraculously ran down off the side slope of a bunker and into the cup (or other such impossibilities). Depending on those present at the time of retelling the story, this nobbled tee shot will no doubt become a perfectly struck pin-tracer given time. But I’d imagine most of us would rather feel rewarded by the quality of the shot than our story-telling.
Embarrassing Ball
Snob’s time. We’d all like to keep a memento of our ‘special’ shot, and what better souvenir than the ball with which it was achieved? Which is fine, as long as you haven’t had one of those days when you were reduced to rummaging around the bag for a ball and now are showing off the X-out Dunlop 65, circa 1979 that you played, or worse still, that yellow ball which you found buried in the woods on the previous hole and which has clearly served as a chewy toy for a dog in its previous life. Hardly one for the mantelpiece.
Horrendous Round Of Golf
I once read of a particularly fortuitous chap who achieved the incredible feat of scoring two hole-in-ones in a single round. His card proudly adorns the clubhouse wall – which is fantastic, weren’t it for the fact that this low single figure golfer was having a shocking round otherwise. His two aces were the only ‘blemishes’ on an otherwise appalling card that he now has to bear being scrutinized by every man and his dog. Worse still, you can imagine posting an NR. OK, this shouldn’t detract from the achievement – especially making two! – but you’d prefer to post a worthy score to accompany your champagne moment.
Captain’s Day
Talking of champagne moments, no matter how perfect the hole-in-one might be, there are one or two occasions in the year when, for the purposes of your wallet, you’d perhaps rather not see your ball disappear in to the hole. Call me an old miser, but the old tradition of a round of drinks can be a costly affair if you pick the wrong ‘lucky’ day at the club. OK, beggars can’t be choosers, but Captain’s Day or another such occasion guarantees you a large audience for your story – and for your round, of course. Cheers!
The Wrong Hole
Less of a problem for the humble amateur, but I have seen the odd Tour player celebrate winning the shiny new car, only to discover that the Lexus on the platform in the lake was only up to grabs on that other par 3. A bitter pill for the pros to swallow, but I’m sure they’ll survive.
So, there we go. My paper-thin argument for the times you’d rather not get a hole-in-one. But, seriously, who am I kidding!