I don’t know about you, but whenever I play with others at a new course (or new to us, I should say) the round is always preceded by a healthy deliberation over the choice of tees. It takes just one serious golfer in the group, or a masochist, to suggest playing from ‘the tips’, ‘the back pegs’, ‘the pros tees’.

I’ll concede, as a pro, some of this doesn’t really apply to me but even among the amateur ranks, the decision usually favours the sadistic streak and all shuffle back to tee it up from as far back as nature allows.  At select courses, the group are saved from inevitable embarrassment by a Starter who restores order, pointing to the forward tees.  But in their absence, how often have you seen (or been part of) groups with a combined handicap of 70 plus, striding to the championship tees to tackle all 7,000 yards of a course?  Madness!

It’s worse still if you’re having to witness it from the group behind.  OK, there may be some amusement, if not bemusement, but there’s frustration too, as you inevitably find yourself waiting on every shot.  How anyone can go from ‘patting’ 180 yard drives down the range to stand on a tee requiring a 260 yard carry to a fairway the width of a cricket pitch and think they’re having fun is beyond me.

Invariably, by the time they’ve reached the fourth green everyone in the group will have questioned the sanity of their decision as they wade, yet again, in to the chest-high rough short of the fairway, looking over their shoulder at the group behind, already mounting the tee.  Of course, the sensible thing to do would be to admit defeat, tuck your tail between your legs, and head to a more ‘suitable’ tee at the very next opportunity.  Oh, but the cowardice!  Nobody wants to be the first to suggest it and the show of bravado continues.

But spare a thought for those behind.  All that searching for balls, walking back to the tees, hacking back onto the fairways, takes its toll.  The ripple passes back through the groups as more and more hands find themselves resting on hips.

Still, despite the agony of waiting, at least if you’re stuck behind you can take solace from the fact that the group responsible aren’t having fun either.  How enjoyable can it be to tee off on every par three looking down at a three wood or a driver? Where’s the joy in watching your second perfectly struck shot running up 60 yards short of the green on a par four?  Don’t people want the chance to have a go at par fives in two? Isn’t golf supposed to be fun?!

So why do people do it?  Even at the very top level of the game, it’s rare that a course is ever played at its full length.  The tees get moved about during tournaments changing the length of holes considerably – take the recent 100 yard hole on the final day of the US Open, hardly a ‘monster’ by anyone’s standards.  For some, I guess the enjoyment comes from the examination of the ‘true’ course.  I can understand that there’s something a little unsatisfactory about playing well from tees that take a kilometre off the card but isn’t it preferable to the misery of toiling away for four hours watching the queue grow behind you?

So, I propose two things for consideration.

Firstly, golf courses could mix up the tees of the day so the Championship tees aren’t necessarily always played from the maximum yardage. Quite feasibly, half a dozen tees could be ‘moved up’ while still providing a stern test.  The occasional one could even be in front of the yellow tees!

Secondly, different tees are there for a purpose.  How about using them to create a level playing field, in conjunction with your handicaps?  If there’s a difference of opinion or major difference in strength or talent, why not play from different tees?  I’m sure the odd shot could be negotiated in the process if needed (that seems to be the other major pre-round discussion point), and probably everyone would end up playing from a tee they were comfortable with.  Better to look like a chicken on the first tee, than a drowned rat on the last.

So, that’s my case. Perhaps one of these suggestions would help overcome a common cause of slow play and have us all enjoying our games a little more.

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